Stone Tower

Pictures in My Head...

Hey there!  Remember me?  Yeah, it's been a while.  Sorry about that.

I ran through the archives a bit this week, trying to find a date where I stopped writing here on a regular basis.  I was blown away to see how long it's really been.  Aside from my yearly burst of posts around conference season each year (note that 2011 lacked any conferences...and any real posts), the past few years have seen little activity here.  That's really sad.

When I first started this site, I updated about once a week.  I wasn't exactly sure what this site would become, but I made a point each week to write some sort of essay to post.  That went well for a while, but eventually things began to feel forced.  And more than that, writing for the site basically became the only writing I did.  So I backed off, and things slowed down. 

I took breaks here and there, when other things in my life took precedence--like the patent bar exam or pushing to get some fiction project done--and made it sort of a rule not to put too much pressure on myself about the site.  That basically led to me going months without posting at times. 

My last real "break" from the site came when I was finishing my last book--I think in 2010.  By the time I finished that, I had pretty much gotten completely out of the habit of working on material for the site.  And it's been sitting here ever since.

I've been thinking about the site a lot over the last few months.  I really miss it.  What I've come to realize is that this site became my home base in terms of writing.  No matter what I was working on or how far from the finish line I felt on a given project, this site was here as my little landmark in the writing world.  A place that was all mine, and somewhere that would host my work...even if they were just silly essays about playing Donkey Kong for the first time.  My own stone tower in the wilderness (heh...and you thought it was just a random blog name, didn’t you?  I bet you also think this song is about you.  Sigh.  You're so vain.)

Now, I need my stone tower back more than ever.  I won't get all whiney and introspective (you're welcome!), but having this site here always made me believe, no matter how crazy and far-fetched all of this seemed.  I think a big part of the problems I am having with my fiction right now is that I just don't believe anymore.  It all just seems too big and too out of reach.

Anyway, that's basically why I am back here...with a nifty new site design and everything.  So, let me catch you up on what's going on.

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The Stone Tower
As I said, new design.  What do you think?  It's based on the design I came up with for the site I put together for our Vegas trip last summer.  I think it just looks cleaner and more modern.  It's been six years; time for a new look.

The biggest change is we are officially 1200 pixels wide now.  Sorry 800x600 resolution people, but the rest of us are moving on.  This gives me a little more width in the main content column and the left hand sidebar, which will be good for links and things. 

Anyway, take a look and tell me what you think.  As I said in my rambling opening above, I plan to start writing more here again.  Maybe not essays at first, but I miss this site being part of my writing routine...hell, I miss having a writing routine.

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#5w5s
Yeah, this was a total failure.  I wrote half of one story, then wasn't sure how to finish it, then got distracted with something for work and used that as an excuse to just forget the whole thing.  Sigh.  It's been a rough year for my fiction. 

I still think it's a good idea, and it did get me fired up for three days.  But then I got all caught up in "wow, this is stupid" and "no one is ever going to want to read this" and "seriously, where is this going?"  Which, if you were following the whole thing, was exactly the opposite of what I was supposed to be doing with the project. 

So I might try that again at some point, once I get a little roadwork in.  Stay tuned.

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The Tynassis Stone
Dead.  I still have a copy of it on my desk, just because...well, it's mine...but after VP, I know it won't ever see the light of day.  But I learned a lot from it...got stronger.  Hell, it got me into VP to begin with, so it has to be worth something.

This means, for the first time in years, I don't have a novel out there working through the slush piles.  It really feels like I've started this whole thing all over again...which is overwhelming to say the least. 

Which brings us to...

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New Fiction
If you've been following my twitter feed, you've seen my starts and stops over the last six months on a new novel.  I've mostly been spinning my wheels, but I've got about six months of solid research done on it, and a good idea of what I want to do with the story.  I think I can't get started because my main character just isn't there, so I've been really trying to rework that for the past few weeks.  Part of me is thinking of just putting the whole thing on hold, and jumping into my next idea...but I am not sure.

No matter what, it's long past time I started putting words to paper again, one way or another.  I miss it so much.

I hope to have more on this in the coming weeks, as we get back into this.

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All right, so that's the deal.  This site has really become a chronicle of my efforts to figure out this writing thing over the last six years.  The day I put up my first post, I was convinced I was months away--at the most!--from seeing my work in print.  I thought I had it all figured out.  It's amazing to me how far I've come since then...but it's even more amazing how far I have yet to go.

So, if you are still with me, hang in there for the ride.  One way or another, I promise we'll get somewhere.

Introducing: Five Weeks / Five Stories (#5w5s)

I came up with a crazy idea last night.  And, as is the way with most crazy ideas, they tend to be more fun when shared.  So strap in!

I'll spare you the 1200 word whiny, introspective monologue and jump right to the "why" of this whole thing (your welcome).  Last month--after months of prep work and research--I finally started work on my next huge writing project.  You'd think I'd be well on my way by now, but, truth be told, I've been spinning my wheels.

There are a lot of reasons why things aren't moving along as they should--and again, I'll spare you most of them.  But they basically boil down to the fact that I am incredibly intimidated by what I've set to do with this new book...and I am woefully out of shape. 

I'm sort of like Rocky on the beach with Apollo Creed in the second act of Rocky III.  Out of the game mentally, having trouble running along the water, and wearing shorts that are way, way too short.


So yeah, that's me.  I've lost my eye of the tiger.  I am over thinking things, putting too much pressure on myself, and just not getting out of my own way so I can get some words on a page.

I was mulling all this over last night, having fun with my playful Rocky analogy--you know like I do--and then it hit me.  What does Rocky do in times like these? 

We're gonna need a montage (montage!).  Damn, why didn't I think of this a month ago?  I just need to get myself over to Siberia, lock myself in a rustic cabin, and work out in the snow for five weeks until I'm back in fighting shape.  Along the way, I'll learn to believe in myself again, forgive Pauly for whatever thing he did this time around, and then run triumphantly up something!  It will be great!  So gonna fly now, you'll see.

And that's what I intend to do.  Well...figuratively.  I mean Siberia sounds nice and all, but I've got work and stuff.  We'll just need to adjust this montage (montage!) a bit.

There are five Tuesdays in the month of November.  That's five due dates to mark on the wall next to the bathroom mirror like so many pictures of my nemesis (you know who you are, Sir).  For each of those due dates, I intend to produce a story.  That's right, it's:

                              Five Weeks / Five Stories (#5w5s)

It's going to be a thing.  Tell your friends!

So the new novel is going on hold for another month, and I am giving myself over to #5w5s (that's the cool hash tag, tell your friends!).  Again, I could go on and on about why and how this is going to help me, but that's boring outside of my head.  Bottom line, I need a montage (montage!), and this is it.


This is might be a bit confusing, so let's break it down FAQ style for the takeaways:

1. So why are you telling us about this?  Just go write your little stories, drama queen. 
Wow...harsh much?  My point of writing up an explanation here (and probably tweeting about it later) is to just put it out there into the world so I am committed to it.  It's one thing to say to myself that I am going to do something; it's another to announce it to the world.  Even if no one ever reads this post--and let's face it, that's a real possibility--I'll know it's out here, and that will make me feel like a jerk if I don't put the work in.

2. How do we, your loyal blog readers and twitter followers, fit into this?  Is there anything you want us to do?
Well, thanks for asking.  If the idea of #5w5s sounds exciting to you, and you would like to help out, I can use you!  If you actually know me personally--or even if you don't, but you just think I am cool and want to help out--send me a few messages over the next month.  Text or message me on facebook or twitter and let me know the world is watching.  Give me a little reminder that I promised myself I would do this, and you saw it.  You'd be surprised how motivating it can be to know your friends are out there waiting to see if you succeed.

3. That sounds good...but here is the thing, now I am excited about #5w5s!  How come you get to have all the fun?  I don't want to just watch from the sidelines while you get all buff and somehow tan even though you are working out in a log cabin in Siberia. 
Hey, great!  I was hoping you would say that.  Join me in my crazy idea!  Let's all do five [things] in five weeks together!  And don't think this is limited to writing.  You can do any five things you want.  Take and finish five photographs.  Try out five different cupcake recipes.  Learn five new songs.  Complete five circuits at the gym.  Anything!

The point is to do five complete things of something you love.  Preferably something you love that is in desperate need of a montage (montage!).  And along the way, tweet, facebook, message, or however you want to publish your progress.  I'll keep an eye on you and bug you each week to keep going.  Teamwork all the way!

4.  Are there any rules for what constitutes a story, or in my case a [BLANK]?
That's up to you.  For me, I'll consider a story finished once I have something I would feel comfortable sending out to be beta read.  Word count won't matter.  Just as long as I have a story I feel is polished and ready for the world (then my beta readers can tell me all the reasons it's not). 

But if you're not writing stories, just make up your own rules.  Whatever guidelines you set, just make sure they define a finished thing in your mind.

5.  So, are you basically just ripping off NaNoWriMo?
Shh...quiet, you!

All right, I know it seems kind of crazy, given that I came up with this idea on October 24th, but I really didn't make the connection to NaNoWriMo until this afternoon as I was contemplating writing up this post.  I guess, yes, it's basically the same type of idea, but #5w5s is different in that it produces five finished things.  Five things that are ready for the world.

If NaNoWriMo works for you, awesome!  A lot of people love it, and it's a great community.  I would never say anything bad about NaNo.  For me, though, it's just not what I need.  I need to learn to slip the jab, not work the heavy bag endlessly for thirty days.  If you're in that boat too, come join me for #5w5s.

So that's it!  Let's see where this goes.  I hope you'll join me in one way or another.

One More Story...

There is a long-standing joke in my family about my grandmother's stories.  Any time you visited her, you could be sure to come away with a dozen or so updates on the family or to be treated to a few tales from the Toomey family history.  We'd smile knowingly to each other as we set out folding chairs in her living room.  Grammy was ready to give us the scoop.

"Did you hear about Kelly's paper?" she'd say.  Of course we hadn't.  "Oh she got an A!  Jack was so happy."

"Did you know your father got a motorcycle?"  I actually did.  "Ray is going to let him store it down here for the winter.  That's nice of him."

"Oh, and poor Mathew!  He can't find decent fish and chips out there in California.  I used to work part time for a fish and chip place when the boys were young.  Did I ever tell you about that?"  She hadn't, but by the time we left that day we knew all about it.

While it became sort of a family joke that she'd talk your ear off if you let her, we always enjoyed our visits with her.  She knew everything that was going on with each one of us, and giving her a bit of news was like getting your YouTube video to go viral.  Her attitude and enthusiasm were infectious, and that made her stories, while numerous, always worth listening to.

What always struck me about these stories was how excited she got about everything that was happening with us.  This wasn't small talk or mundane gossip.  She was really interested in what we were all doing, and bursting with pride to tell someone.  All our small successes were major news to her.

In a way, I think that's who she was.  Her family--all of us--was so important to her.  She took pride in our accomplishments, and felt sympathy for us in our stumbles.  I count myself lucky to have been included in her tales.

Rita Toomey passed away this week.  Our family has lost its storyteller, its matriarch, and its cheerleader.  Of all she gave us, I think the most important is that she taught us to stop and listen to each other's stories every now and then.

And maybe, once in a while, tell a few of our own.

VP 14 Final Update: Wrapping it All Up

So I'm back home.   I delayed writing my wrap up a few days primarily out of necessity--the real world *really* missed my while I was gone--but the last few days have also given me a chance to reflect.  As I have mentioned in my other updates, the week was damn intense.  But in the end all of it was for the best.  Everything I knew about writing has been turned on its head, and now I'm looking at all of this so differently. 

It's always been really hard for me to give myself credit or really enjoy any measure of success.  It something that was hardwired into me at an early age.  But one of the things that got through to me this week--after it was explained to me for the sixth or seventh time--is that I am so much better than the books I have been trying to write.  Up until this week I've looked at the publishing world as a place I need to enter by sneaking in the back door.  For the first time in my life, I really believe that kind of thinking is selling myself painfully short.  It's a good a lesson...and not one I am taking lightly.

So where does this leave me?  Well, The Tynassis Stone is now officially on the shelf.  That was hard for me to come to terms with, but I understand now that it's not the kind book I should be writing.  Even if I were to go through and fix the problems with style and mechanics throughout the book, at its core it's really just a derivative gaming story.  I really had fun with those stories growing up, and I thought if I tried to emulate them with my own work, I could get somewhere.  I know now that I can do better.

No more of this...

So the new book (no title yet) is underway.  I have a shiny new box of writing tools, handed down from some amazing writers and editors I really respect.  And I have honestly never felt this optimistic about my writing.  Things are good, my friends.

Also, I'm guessing these entries will pop up in Google for some people considering applying for Viable Paradise 15 next year.  Let me be clear: Viable Paradise is the best workshop ever (evah).  If you are debating whether or not to apply, let me help you.  Apply.  Now.  This workshop will change your life, and--if my experience is any indication--everything you put into it will come back to you tenfold. 

I am honored and privileged to be a member of Viable Paradise 14 class.  And I can't wait see all of my classmates on the bookstore shelves in the coming years.

And to the instructors and staff of VP14...thank you.  You all inspire and motivate me more than I can express.  If any of you wanted the moon, I would totally write upon it with big letters--1,000 feet high--reading: "May the books of all your enemies  be remaindered!"

VP 14 Update: Nerds and Grinds FTW!

So the instructors have officially declared Viable Paradise 14 as the year of the "nerds and grinds."  (Not grinders...those are sandwiches).  I guess this group is strangely focused and obsessed with working on our assignments.  The staff has noticed a distinct lack of the typically partying and releasing of steam after hours.

Based on an informal poll last night, I am pretty sure that all twenty-four of us are damn proud of that description.

Anyway, that's the reason for the drop off in posting the last thirty-six hours or so.  Yesterday afternoon was technically scheduled as "down time," but I spent several hours writing a third and fourth draft of my new story (my first ever short-short--go me!), and then a few more hours reading and critiquing until my eyes were blurry.

I think we're all just so enthralled by what is going on here that we're obsessed with writing out every last drop of the experience.  It's so awesome.  I will say the last few days have been hard--very hard in some spots--but I needed it.  I feel as though I've spent the last several years writing stories with crayons, and now someone has handed me a professional set of felt tip pens.  I just want to pull them all out of the box and once and see what I can do.

All right, I need to get back.  I wish I had time to think of a cleaver Top Gun reference.  Can someone take care of that for me in the comments?